What role does Psychology play?

There are so many resources on the web,  I often would educate myself on thd topic of  uneployment and I remember reading articles like these. The information I as helpful to have sone clarity to the fast spinning world we were living in.



Making Your Marriage Work When You’re Unemployed

Posted by Angel BrownawellGuest blog post from Dr. Rosalind Dorlen, a clinical psychologist in New Jersey The subject of money in marriage is always a psychologically hot topic, and it’s even more of an issue during tough economic times.When one partner loses a job, stress can skyrocket and have severe effects on marriage and relationships—not just a couple’s finances.  In my practice I see many couples who are dealing with the job loss of a partner and the psychological effects can be cataclysmic, particularly when one of the partners becomes acutely anxious and is unable to manage feelings of fear, rage and helplessness.What seems to be adding even more stress to marriage in this economy is unemployment is often more than six months and thus becomes a chronic issue rather than acute and short-lived. This ultimately affects the whole family since stress “filters down” to the children.The loss of a job can create feelings of worthlessness, loss of power, self-esteem and identity. Gender issues. This can be tough on a male, particularly if his source of identity rests on being the economic driver of the family, which is often the case.So what can a couple do to keep their relationship on an even keel during this crisis?Acknowledge the loss. There is grief when a job is lost. It can be helpful in a marriage to be able to talk about the consequences of this loss.Consult experts to find out the best ways to manage your existing finances.Focus on communication. It is normal to have fears, uncertainties and anger over a job loss. You need to be able to talk about these feelings without blaming each other.  It helps if you can try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and appreciate his or her feelings. Encouraging and supporting your partner will go a long way toward improving communication and sensitivity in your relationship.Understand the powerful effect of stress on the body and take good care of yourself. Schedule time with friends, get rest, eat well and try to get exercise. You don’t need fancy gyms to get exercise. If you are able, just get outside and walk.Networking is important not just for finding a new job, but for retaining social interactions and feelings of normalcy.Strengthen your family relationships by spending fun time with each other. Spending couple and family time doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. Try to find ways to stay close to family and friends.Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. It’s good for your mood, your spirituality and your relationship. Try to focus on appreciating what you have and the many joys and pleasures in life.Don’t lose hope. If you find that you can’t seem to move forward with your attitude, or if you are continue to be depressed and overly anxious, consider talking to a psychologist or other licensed mental health professional.Remember, that sometimes going through a crisis like job loss can actually strengthen your relationship. Many couples I have seen report that their marriages improved through mutual support, understanding and demonstrating resilience during the hard times.  Rosalind Dorlen, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist in Summit, N.J. Among her interests and services are therapy for individuals and couples for many issues, including stress related to finances and money.Photo by adwriter (via Flickr)- See more at: http://www.yourmindyourbody.org/making-your-marriage-work-when-youre-unemployed/#sthash.XKdEFtMg.dpuf

http://m.cbsnews.com/storysynopsis.rbml?&pageType=moneywatch&catid=57574017&feed_id=76&videofeed=43&nb_splitPage=5

 http://www.foryourmarriage.org/when-unemployment-hits-home-seven-ways-to-help-your-marriage/

 http://www.yourmindyourbody.org/making-your-marriage-work-when-youre-unemployed/

Working hard through college as most of do, my husband and I both attained a bachelor's degree while having children and working part & full time jobs. Its amazing either of us even passed classes among the 3am work times, morning sickness and newlywed ups and downs, let alone a newborn who didn't care much for sleep. Anyone relate?

Well upon my husband's graduation  excitement, anticipation and anxiety was high! We searched all possible job opportunities and I mean that to the fullest extent. My husband applied for jobs as close as Rexburg, Idaho (where we were living at the time) to as far away as Singapore. We were united on the determination to get a job even if that meant we must move far away. Of course I would love to be close to family I was realistic about what the job market really had to offer.

We did get a job about 4 months ( Dec. 2009 ) after graduation and were very happy to have a little extra income to buy a few things we had put off due to the small income of college students. So we went out and bought some tires for our only vehicle and we payed down some debts. Extravagant, no? We were pretty happy to do just the needs. After almost 10 months into the job we had paid off all our debts and felt comfortable enough to add a vehicle to our then growing family. Just as a year mark at this job approached we were given an abrupt notice with NO inclination of anything amiss that my husband was to be laid off that day. As my husband took the VERY long drive home all he could think about was how he would tell his newly pregnant wife the current events of his very short day at work...  "You may leave the office and your things will be gathered for you and sent to you."...

We were both devastated. Our world was spinning a little faster now and it was hard to get a hold of ourselves long enough to focus on what our future held. We just did what we both do best, we got back to work. We took on the next job opportunities that came along and because of amazing family we were put right back to work. Though it so happened that this next job sent my husband from a highly paid and respected engineer to a laborer whose worst job description would be cleaner of the toilets! (Don't get me wrong, those who do janitorial services are no less than someone at a desk. They are just not given the respect they deserve.)During this time we did not skip a beat to apply for every job within my husbands degree that we found online or were referred to.

The worst of it for me was watching my husbands self confidence be flushed down the toilet. I mean sure there was the worry of not being able to make all ends meet but more important for me was how it was changing us emotionally.

*This is the beginning of my journal blog about our families run in with multiple lay offs within just a few years of marriage, small children, and graduation. I am writing this to encourage and bring hope to those experiencing the same trials. I know couples and families can come out of unemployment stronger than before. I just don't think we are aware of the emotional toll it takes on families and there are just not enough resources for couples and it shows. This is a very rough draft but felt impressed to get it out there sooner rather than later!